Then, pick through some published fiction and do the same thing.
Instead of a character wanting something, you must now describe the thing so that the reader wants it. Only specific sensory detail: action, smell, taste, sound, and feeling.
Some are common sense, others are worth posting on your computer monitor in big, bold letters hint: that one is number five. The combination lock would still be warm from her butt.Process, not results. And the next break, Gwen would be leaned there, again. At its most basic, this is showing your story instead of telling it. Expand Thus, the book is littered with fascinating bits of trivia, like how all popular books today are filled with simpler sentences and more monosyllabic words, how Danielle Steel likes to use the weather trope in her opening paragraphs, or how the second books of successful authors tend to be longer than their first. The Heart Does Not Grow Back grew out of fragments and pieces of a totally different novel that I had in mind, and I just kept plugging away, trying new things, and by the time I had fifty terrible and fragmented pages along with a surprisingly decent short story, I knew I had to keep working until whatever it was that was happening had been completed. Better yet, transplant it and change it to: Brenda would never make the deadline. Once you can pull that off, it becomes easier and easier to find flaws and strengths in your own work. If nothing else, cut the opening sentence and place it after all the others. In a way, they state the intention of the paragraph. Sometimes the adverb is the best choice or the only choice. Your story will always be stronger if you just show the physical actions and details of your characters and allow your reader to do the thinking and knowing. The combination lock would still be warm from her ass. I recite this when asked, inevitably, about self-publishing. Somerset Maugham. Stopping dead in my tracks I knew what I had to do.
Traffic was backed up from the bridge, past the first eight or nine exits. Then, pick through some published fiction and do the same thing.
He did cut the usage after this advice was made public.